www.myspace.com/s0litara

wrote a song for my grandfather. recorded in like.. an hour with crappy stuff so don't rag on the sound quality thanks.

A silent ceiling in a darkened room that
echoes memories of yesterdays past.
The rain is falling,
though not on my window.
There are no lullabies tonight.
And oh, I've been sleeping
with your ghost;
so cold.
I drink you in like morphine,
and your opiate spectre grants me passage
into dreams of my wake walking state.
But you're never there
and I am realizing that I'm just wasting time and that
it, too, is an illusion.
So breathe in the present and
get ready to live in the now.
Make use of wishing wells that capture
fallen stars as the oceans rise:
I give back to mother earth.
Ashes to ashes, tattooed memories.
We sail these ships on seven seas
to buy us some time,
overlooking drums in owl eyes that
watch those who cry wolf.
Fetch me that horizon. I want
a taste of that lightning.
Fire.

Tags: they

She didn't need glasses but new eyes. I sought to give her an alternative perspective on life over the rainbow, hoping she'd see that things aren't always black and white. (I know she hasn't forgotten that yellow brick road...) They were supposed to be my lifeline, I turned to trees instead.

Tags: pride

Awaken, sleeper. 'Tis not a threat. I saw you in my dreams, wake walking through the altered reality. Which is more real?

There was blood on the moon as it rose from water. I almost mistook it for Jupiter coming towards us all, letting delusions grip me. And as I looked up at the constellations and planets, I imagined other forms of intelligent life lying on their backs and looking up at their sky, wondering if people on Earth were doing the same thing. We are so close and yet so far away.

Molecules and movement. Only one thing separates us from air and skin, skin and sand. I dug my feet deep into the ground, trying to find my roots.

We created wind and together we can conjure up an earthquake. The universe had no reason to move before, lacking a driving force. We are one in a billion, a random combination of molecules and cells that came together to form homo sapien. Deeper meaning in Grains of Time; watch the hourglass, consider the Maker. Clocks within tick/set your circadian rhythm. I'm in time with the universe.

Tonight, we dream.

Tags: lucid dreaming, planets, stars
Current Location: ocean city

Grow embryo. Develop a backbone and stand strong within the womb of flesh and words. Forever will you be a part of me. It is in our blood and it is written in the stars. Therefore when we part ways, for I must leave to find a cure, remember me as I was eleven days into the past. There are clues. Something about a predestination paradox. Do not forget that time is an illusion. Do not give in to oppressing forces. They were and always will be wrong. Find your voice and speak up, lest you be stuck in a pantomime's box. Invisible to the world and trapped for all of eternity. I would not wish that cruel fate upon my sons or daughters.

Tags: grow embryo

It's in the air. It's in the heat rising from the asphalt.

We reside on an island inside of our minds. There, the waters of profundity are deep, deep. Everlasting blue. Don't use your dollars or the force of wind that you have under control. There are forests for that. Fields, meadows, ponds, and lakes. So in the garden, let your thoughts grow for your time is coming. Everyone's is. Just take note of who will be consistent. The past has a way of haunting, this time imperfect. Seedlings are just out of reach as you question carrier pigeons who've delivered their mail but have not returned home. Did they fear grapes, not knowing that she is all loving (though not a god)? [He is not your king.] The moment is lost to the sea and the sunset. We wait for sunrise and it is rare, but worth it. There are trees within your eyes. Maybe if you peeled back the skin, you would find wood. A flick of the wrist and you turn your head. Mechanical. Meanwhile, she has run away with the text. To deserts and back. She is a contact buzz, your poison of choice. And you are addicted. It is the principle of least interest, altered slightly for your benefit. But a rose is a rose is a rose. Except when it is called by its name, which is always. Close your eyes, then open your third and free your mind.

Tags: frank

Everything is coming together, like puzzle pieces.

Oh. I miss completing those billion piece puzzles with Dadd. We had a system. I remember organizing all the pieces by shades. I loved all the different colours and how they could come together perfectly to form such a lovely picture. I loved the autumn house scene puzzle. I wanted to frame it.


Don't you hate when the villains are beautiful? Not that anyone is a villain. I know I sound ever so dramatic right now.

Hm. I had multiple conversations with people today. It was lovely. I love the blinking orange and blue of AIM window conversations popping up to greet me. I had about 6 and I was loving every minute of it all... even though it deterred me from precious studying time.

I have 3 exams tomorrow and a stat final to complete. I will be fine when this is all over. Wish me luck.

There was a midnight breakfast that took place at 10am. It was nice. I had more whipped cream on my face than in my stomach and there were definitely more eggs on Chelsea's plate than you could shake a stick at. Where did that expression come from anyway?

Remember those nights spent in the loft? I was going to reenact those, but some kids took it over. AND ate my cookies. It's all good.

Lovers brought Jesse and I some grape juice.

Thursday will be interesting.

Strange looks illicit early morning plans to chill. Senses. I know I can be cold, but...

I love when people realize things about themselves and I love this grape juice and the people who delivered it to us.

3 exams. I must continue to study now.

Edit: It's 3:30am and Robot Chicken is on.
Edit II: It's 4:00am and I can't sleep. I feel weird. Sad and kind of overwhelmed even tho I know it's going to be okay. Mostly sad and I can't quite place it.

I cannot hold a grudge and I have no capacity for hate. I am a sad girl who is dwarfed by the universe. Please come and stay awhile with me. Please, please.

YESTERNIGHT was an imax of shadows, shrouding man made inventions, but we created our own light. I wasn't so much concerned with the outer darkness as the spirits. The forest dwellers and that dreadful chimney.

Patience is a virtue, but tell me if I'm waiting for a reason. Show me that this isn't one sided as it is wont to be. You brought out the kindle and flint to begin with. I added the fire. Now we're burning and we need more fuel if we want to survive.

There will always be complications and there will always be exceptions. I hope that this time is an exception to the exception.

STRANGE VIBRATIONS filled the air last night. I realized that the words that constitute our english language aren't as stable as I thought them to be. What did you say? What does that mean? This is a game we are playing right now, but in all honesty... I want simplicity. I feel as though the future is all up in the air and I cannot reach it, being on a different latitude.

"We went to the woods, ****'* *****, altered territory. It was also full of negative energy. I put my hand on the ground, or the ground drew up to my hand, and I was connected to a tree, smaller than the rest, across from me. The voices around me drowned out and it was just me and this tree, and then ... the heartbeat. The huge, deep, drowning heartbeat of the forest. And I heard voices, screeching, kind of, but low and sad ... but still threatening and dark. People had died there, maybe, a long time ago, and this was there place of peace, which we disturbed. Hm." Jesse Donovan, on the 51 experience.


I like giving things names. (Project 116. 51 Experience. etc.) I also like having profound experiences or awakenings. (Carolyn, Aaron, and Waking Life. Concerts. Woods and creeks.) So last night goes down in history, I'm thinking.

When all other connections fail, I know that I can rely on myself to get what I desire. And I did.

We drove away from all the commercial lights of human life and I watched the car lights reflected in scattered puddles along the side of the road as we entered the forest territory. We drove into heart the woods. Deep, deep. Midnight was envious of the events about to unfold and I could feel a rustling in the sky, in the clouds.

Technological reception died as nature took control and I knew that this, well, this was what I was born for.

The freedom of mind.

Trees stood guard, true shadow soldiers. The night was beginning to look like Perfection at its finest. Oh, and they told me such a word doesn't exist. Maybe it doesn't, but it's only a word. I don't need words to feel.

I ignored the graffiti written on rocks, rolling my eyes at humans trying to take back what wasn't theirs in the first place, and concentrated on the winding of the road. An asphalt snake curving into oblivion. Into the heart of the forest for a sacred baptism. Communion, rather.

Later, the moon hid behind the clouds and I could feel the natural electricity of the universe.

And we rose from the ashes, together. We heard the heart beat of the trees. Felt the heart beat. I had thought I had gotten it, and turned away from gazing at a particular tree. Then I heard a voice, "No... really wait for it," catching my impatience. So I turned around, looked back at the tree, and then... it came. Like a quiet rumble from the west, every molecule stirring, the ground breathing.

It didn't end there.

Eyes closed, hands touching, sitting traditionally like our ancestors, we went on an exploration. Together, on a brand new plane. I saw a picture of an untouched beach in my mind, I heard the waves.

Distractions, though. From what? The negative energy radiating from the remains of a house. Behind me, a decrepit chimney, surely marked by fire's touch, was situated. And there were voices, uninterpretable, but ever there.

We left and I was raising spirits as I walked. I could see their shadows. We the people of plymouth rock. And as we emerged, a vision. I hoped it would not be my last. Red cloaked henchmen guiding us out of the woods.

"So this is ****'* *****," he said, casually. I know that he is another one of the chosen few. That I must keep him close to me like the rest of mine. There is wisdom deep within his soul, I can feel a part of me in him. Children of the universe.

There were faeries in my eyes and guiding lights, perverted by technology as we came back into the harsh light of the human world. Never will I forget the heart beat of the earth. It's the blood in my veins, expanding my mind and senses.

Tags: np, the 51 experience.
Current Music: dorset perception - shpongle